Lorde said it best:

No, Lorde, we never will be royals. Indeed, it is not in our blood, and nay, nay – that luxe and buzz clearly are not for us. But lo! You touch upon a great truth! You can be a ruler! You can be called Queen Bee! In the kingdom of food, you can live this fantasy! How? This wise, olde (so old it’s olde) adage, written by sage philosopher Anon Y. Mous, is a declaration of our divine right to royalty at breakfast time:

Why eat like a king at breakfast and a pauper at dinner? I think this visual sums up the answer nicely.

Every single morning, I wake up hangry and besieged by low blood sugar, which is why smiles, good cheer and sunshine cannot be found within a 10-mile radius of my person. Therefore, as soon as I open my eyes, I’m ready to strap on a feedbag before I even utter the words “good morning.”  That’s why I start my day with a breakfast fit for a king (or queen). We’re talking about a high-calorie (typically not less than 600), high-fat (good fat for maximum satiety), nutrient-dense breakfast.

My default breakfast is my Real Foodie Shake. Every once in a while, though, I crave a warm, stick-to-your-ribs sort of breakfast. You know – the type of breakfast that is fit for a lumberjack, a longshoreman or a sumo wrestler. At times like this, I turn to a recipe that fills my hangry belly like no other breakfast: QUEEN BEE OATMEAL. When I eat this breakfast at 9:00 AM, I don’t even think about food until 2:00 PM. After bellying up to a bowl of QUEEN BEE OATMEAL, not even the dwarfish temptresses called “Girl Scouts” can lure me with the siren song of Samoa cookies. UPON FINISHING OFF A HEAPING HELPING OF QUEEN BEE OATMEAL, I HAVE THE ENERGY TO COMPLETE A 10-K RUN, LIFT MULTIPLE BARBELLS WITH MY BARE HANDS, AND OPEN HEAVY DOORS FOR NOT ONE BUT SEVEN OLD PEOPLE, USING CANES, WALKERS AND SUCH!

Are you ready to experience the mighty morphin power of QUEEN BEE OATMEAL? LESSDOIT.

• 1 Tablespoon chia seeds
• 1 Tablespoon hulled hemp seed
• 1 Tablespoon raw pepitas (pumpkin seeds)
• 4 walnut halves (finely chopped)
• 2 Brazil nuts (finely chopped)

Put all five of these ingredients in a small bowl, and soak them in room temperature water for at least 45 minutes in order to activate their enzymes. (You can also prep these ingredients earlier – they can soak overnight.) Don’t drown them; just barely cover the seeds and nuts with a few ounces of water.

• 1/2 cup oatmeal (GLUTEN-FREE OPTION: I use Bob’s Red Mill gluten-free quick cooking oats.)
• 3/4 cup water
• 1/2 ripe banana (cut into thin slices)
• 1/4 cup unsweetened, flaked coconut (again, Bob’s Red Mill is my go-to brand)
• 1 Tablespoon almond butter
• OPTIONAL: Raw, local honey to taste (I’m a purist and rely only on the sugar from fruit to sweeten dishes; however, if you want to amp up the sweetness of this oatmeal, try a couple teaspoons of honey)

Combine the oats and water, and cook the oatmeal however you prefer. Cooking time will depend on whether you are using quick or old-fashioned oats. The cooking method is a matter of preference – you can nuke it for 1.5 to 2 minutes or cook it on a stovetop. I cook quick oats on the stove top for 3 minutes.
Once the oatmeal is done cooking, dump all of the ingredients in a bowl, and thoroughly mix in the hot oatmeal. You’ll want to use a big bowl – a vessel of royal proportions – as this recipe yields one generous helping.

With one bite, you’ll appreciate how this breakfast will activate your super powers. The rich textures of the nuts and seeds are a delicious accompaniment to the tropical coconut flakes and banana. The undertones of almond butter add a lavish layer of decadence that catapults the flavor into regal realms. Take one look at the nutritional profile of your bountiful bowl of QUEEN BEE OATMEAL, and you’ll appreciate how this breakfast is capable of sustaining you into the late afternoon.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “Great Odin’s raven, that’s a caloric wallop!” Or maybe you’re thinking, “Son of a bee sting, 41 grams of fat?” My response to you is simple. First of all, I respect you and thank you for quoting Ron Burgundy in your thoughts. Well done. Second of all, we need to ditch the notion that a low-fat, low-calorie diet is the right path to good health and optimal hanger control. My weight is ideal, my health is stellar, and my days always begin with a queenly, lumberjacky meal.
“But Greta,” you’re thinking, “What if I don’t want to start my day with a bowl of oatmeal that could feed a family of four in Sierra Leone?”
Here’s where I get to celebrate and promote the differences between my beloved sister and me. Natalie typically starts her days with a lighter breakfast, involving oatmeal of course. In fact, the 1st Hangry Chick Post, authored by Natalie, features one of her fantastic oatmeal recipes. So if you didn’t wake up feeling like a longshoreman, try Natalie’s lighter rendition of oatmeal. Or check out our Hangry Chicks page on Facebook where Natalie posted another iteration of her favorite breakfast (on July 9), including almond milk, banana, peanut butter and chia seeds.
Finally, if you like the idea of trying QUEEN BEE OATMEAL but the portion is too abundant for your body, KEEP CALM. I offer an easy alternative called the mini-queen bee oatmeal. Simply cut all quantities of ingredients in half! Yes, it’s just that easy! Now, CARRY ON.

Wow, guys, Greta has been KILLIN’ it on the blog writing front, am I right? AmIriggghhhttt! I’ve been a little slacky about posting so it’s time for me to step in and lend another sista’s voice over here! I’ve been doing things like getting married, honeymooning and stuff. But I’m back, baby! Let’s get this bloggin’ going!

So, Greta has been posting lately about her new diet lifestyle and I think it’s important for me to write about my diet lifestyle so ya’ll know that we do not follow the same diet lifestyle. I don’t want this blog to become all about diets and lifestyles, but since this is a food blog, it’s important for us to share how we eat (at least once), especially since it’s a little different.

Throughout one’s lifetime, diet  lifestyles change. We learn more about food and the effects it has on our bodies as new scientific evidence comes out…Our bodies change as we age and that makes us have to edit, modify, toss out, and/or incorporate different foods into our bods. I myself have tried multiple ways of eating as the years have gone on. [Clears throat] Let me explain…When I was in my mid-twenties I had never been on a weight-loss diet before. I had an agent who told me I needed to lose 10 lbs (you guys, being an actor can be pretty dumb) so I got hooked on Weight Watchers for a while. I actually did lose 10 lbs and felt really good. It wasn’t too much weight, it was just right. That was also when I was becoming a personal trainer so I was learning about the balance of diet and exercise.  Then for a while I got pretty stupid–I thought the carb was evil and followed the South Beach Diet. That blew up in my face because when I started to eat normal again (aka I went through a break-up and carbs and wine became my BFF’s) I put on nearly 20 pounds  which was 16 pounds more than I initially lost. The diet legends are true! Following diets that cut out entire food groups can be hazardous to your health (and waistline)! I was a guinea pig for all of my clients and all of you Hangry Chicks readers! Doing that diet screwed up my metabolism so I had to go back to square one. Lesson learning! At the time, I kinda knew that doing the South Beach diet was probably a bad decision. I would never tell my clients that cutting carbs is the smart thing to do, especially after becoming a Fitness Nutrition Specialist a couple years ago (here is what I promote to my clients from my personal training blog). I guess I just needed to go through it myself. Aaaaand I was in my mid-twenties and making bad decisions all around! ‘Nuff said!

After South Beach, I had to get back on track so I used food journaling/calorie counting. That helped. I lost about 10 of those LBS I gained and felt much better. But for a while, I was still hanging onto some extra weight and I needed to get back to my happy place. So almost a year ago, I revisited some Weight Watcher’s ideals and instead of grabbing something like a Luna Bar for a snack, I started reaching for whole fruit instead. Meaning, I cut out most processed food (Side Note: Luna Bars are not bad but whole and natural is better). We tossed our microwave out the door (which was huge for me–I was so hooked on that thing for garden burgers and actually cooked my oatmeal in it for the longest time!) and by kicking the processed foods, splenda (South Beach has you living on this toxic crap) and trying to eat only organically, I lost another 9 pounds. Now I feel great. I don’t follow any sort of diet but I just modify. Because a girl likes so share what she eats (and that’s why we started this blog), I shall tell you what my daily diet consists of now: On the reg, I’ll start my day with an awesome bowl of oatmeal NOT COOKED IN A MICROWAVE. It’s cooked on the stove with almond milk, old-fashioned oats, banana, a tbs of natural peanut butter, and chia seeds. Then lunch is usually a fatty-ass shake (similar to the one Greta posted), fruit and/or string cheese for a snack, and then for din-dins, whatever my husband is serving up, sometimes usually with dessert. Yep, he uoosh does the cooking, unless I want to try something for Hangry Chicks!

How I do I feel about my diet  lifestyle you ask? To quote Greta from her most recent blog post, “I don’t feel restricted; ironically, on this…diet, I feel liberated.” I follow more of a moderation plan and, to explain the strike-throughs I’ve been using for the word ‘diet’ throughout this post, it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle. That sounds cheesy, but guys, it’s true. I’m just living my life and eating in moderation.  If I was on Greta’s diet, I would feel restricted as all get out. I followed a diet similar to the one she is using and it wasn’t sustainable for me. Today, I don’t gain weight, I maintain it. If I go on vacation, because I have gotten my body to a place where it’s used to a certain calorie intake, I don’t eat more than what my normal intake is (okay, sometimes, maybe, sometimes, I have more dessert and french fries than usual but you get the idea). I just eat, you guys.

So let’s “moral of the story” this out. Greta found a diet  lifestyle that works for her and that rocks. I don’t think I would want to try that diet lifestyle because I found what works for me. Even though we are sisters, our body chemistry is totally different so we need diets lifestyles that support that difference.

Look at us!! I’m the baby, Greta is the child. Who knew then our body chem’s would be so different!

Here we are today. Yes, I have a cocktail in my hand. Living!

And guess what guys? Guess WHAT. We weigh almost exactly the same while following these different diets lifestyles. We both workout nearly every day and that helps too, but hey! It just goes to show you that it’s all about finding your happy place. And you know what? That’s pretty personal. As long as you’re following a healthy lifestyle, it’s your own bidness as to how you’re gonna work that [weight, energy level, supporting your workouts] maintenance. It’s a tough balance for us ladies because our bodies really want to hold onto fat. Our bodies are like, “what if there’s a famine and you get pregnant? I need to support the baby so just in case there is a nuclear holocaust, I’m NOT letting this extra layer go! I don’t care how much you work out! If you’re healthy, you’ve got some fat! Now go to your room!” But we see on magazine covers that “one girl” who has six pack abs! That looks so good! I want to that too! But let’s be honest ladies, either those abs are photoshopped (which is almost always the case), or that girl is watching her diet so closely that a glass of wine or square of chocolate is NEVER an option in her life. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live my life that way! In fact, in the wise words of Whitney (RIP), I would say to that diet: 

And I don’t think any more needs to be said. DE-HANGER!

Back in March, I became a guinea pig with the help of Dr. Mark Hyman and Dr. David Perlmutter (their books are featured on our “Resources” page). Both doctors strongly advocate eliminating “fun” from our modern, Western diet in order to eliminate chronic, pervasive problems like type 2 diabetes, asthma, joint pain, digestive problems, allergies, autoimmune diseases, and migraines. The list goes on, but that last problem – migraines – lured me into signing up for the nutritional lifestyle the doctors were promulgating. As someone who has been suffering from debilitating migraines since the age of six, I did not need much convincing to buy the concepts they were selling. I just had to agree to eliminate the following “fun” from my diet: sugar, caffeine, dairy, gluten, processed foods and liquor. In exchange, I would be liberated from a life of pain. Sold.

My rationale for trying this elimination diet was simple. Worst case scenario: I follow the doctors’ advice, it doesn’t work, and I crawl back to my drug dealer, GlaxoSmithKline in order to humbly, apologetically ask for more Imitrex injections to manage my painful migraines. Best case scenario: This diet works, and I get to hold a funeral for my archenemy, Migrainus Majoris.

But wait a minute. The best case scenario involves abandoning all forms of processed SUGAR (even zero-calorie sweeteners??)?

Yep.

And no more nectar of the gods, COFFEE?

Bingo.

No DAIRY?

Arrivederci, pizza and ice cream.

NO BREAD AND BOOZE? ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME WITH THIS DIET?

No joke.

Taking stock of everything on my do-not-eat-list, I was fully expecting my life as a guinea pig to end swiftly and thusly:

When I signed up for this new lifestyle, an amazing thing happened. Correction: many amazing things happened. Most importantly, my migraines disappeared inside the first month. I also lost 20 pounds (the first 10 pounds melted away in the first 10 days of adopting this lifestyle). My sleep improved. So did my memory. And in a delightful, odd twist, I came to the realization that this nutritional approach does not – I repeat, DOES NOT – eliminate fun from one’s gustatory life. It actually changes the definition of what constitutes “fun food” by introducing a whole new world of exciting flavors, unusual ingredients and inspired recipes.

It has been four months since I adopted a Hyman/Perlmutter lifestyle. Hear me now and believe me later: I have never had a more rewarding, creative and fun relationship with food. And this new relationship has only just begun. I am discovering countless new ways to control hanger with foods and spices that heretofore were foreign to me. Every week, I make an effort to learn a novel recipe, introducing me to different foods that nourish my body without compromising my health. I don’t feel restricted; ironically, on this elimination diet, I feel liberated.

This week, I decided to learn more about a food that I have enjoyed prodigiously in Chinese dishes, expertly prepared at restaurants. However, I never dared to purchase and work with this super-healthy superfood: BOK CHOY. Part of the cabbage family, bok choy has been cultivated in China for more than 5,000 years. It’s chockfull of vitamins A and C and is a good source of several carotenoids, especially the antioxidant beta carotene. Financially and calorically, the stuff is practically free. When I purchased baby bok choy the other day, it was 60 cents a pound, and one cup weighs in at a whopping 13 calories.

Since bok choy has a very mild flavor, it is ideal for stir-fried dishes, braising and soups. For my maiden voyage with this vegetable, I decided to prepare it as a simple yet flavorful side dish. Fortunately, bok choy is an extremely easy vegetable to work with; very little effort is required to transform it into a bright and light addition to a healthy meal.

Ingredients (for 2 servings)

• 3 to 4 bunches of baby bok choy
• 1 Tablespoon olive oil
• 3 large cloves of fresh garlic, finely chopped
• Sea salt to taste

Directions

My experience with bok choy served as a valuable reminder: If I’m not having fun controlling my hanger with healthy dishes, I’m not controlling it the right way! The best, most sustainable way for me to control hanger healthfully is to always keep my repertoire of recipes fresh and interesting.  To that end, I encourage all followers of Hangry Chicks to share their favorite, unusual, healthy recipes with us!

You know those three little words that make your heart race and cheeks flush.

Those three little words that have the power to change your life.

Those three little words that typically appear on a torn cardboard sign before the phrase “will work for food”…

I. AM. HOMELESS.

Yeah, that’s right – those three little words apply to me now. Thanks to a bizarre situation, which was a cross between The Amityville Horror and Animal Planet’s show Infested!, my home became uninhabitable. A plague of wasps, horseflies and American dog ticks drove me – screaming, itching and scratching – from my home in May, never to return. For a little over eight weeks, I have been living in a Candlewood Suites hotel with my beau and two schnauzers.

“So, Homeless G., what does your domestic status have to do with a) hanger and b) helping me control my hanger with healthy snacks and meals?”
My, my, my! We’re in a hurry to get to the point of my post, aren’t we? Are we getting a little hangry, perhaps? The reason I’m broadcasting my homelessness is simple: Life’s unexpected twists and turns might deposit us into situations where it can be particularly challenging to plan and prepare healthy dishes. To illustrate my challenge, I went from living in a spacious home with a chef’s kitchen to living in a shoebox with this kitchen:

Welcome to the kitchenette that adorns my new, homeless reality. Now get out. It only accommodates one person at a time, and I’m trying to cook some soup for you. Watch and learn.

Two electric burners, a microwave, a sink the size of a postage stamp and an oversized cooler posing as a fridge. We have no oven, no food processor, no blender, no juicer, no George Foreman grill (I miss you, George) – really, no kitchen appliances to speak of. I did, however, manage to rescue our toaster oven and hand mixer, which I threw into the car upon fleeing from our house of horror. If ever you find yourself making a hasty exit from your domicile, with no intention of returning, I urge you to bring a toaster oven and hand mixer. These two appliances have the ability to restore a smidgeon of sanity in the midst of chaos.

Granted, my situation could be worse. By simply turning on the news, I am keenly attuned to the fact that things always could be worse. I’m not living in a cardboard box under the Chicago ‘L’ tracks, wondering where my next meal will come from. So believe me when I say that I am not hosting a pity party over here; I merely am adjusting to preparing meals with considerably fewer resources.

One day you might find yourself in a similar situation and if you do, I am here to help you adapt – at least, from a nutritional standpoint. From now until whenever we find a home, I shall write my posts within the constraints of a hotel kitchenette, stocked with a very limited supply of appliances and other resources. On the plus side, necessity is the mother of invention; therefore, my current state likely will prompt inventive – and less difficult – ways to create fabulously nutritious, hanger-crushing dishes like…

INGREDIENTS

These are almost all of the ingredients. Two ingredients didn’t show up to the photo shoot: the olive oil complained about feeling fat, and the almond milk claimed to feel too nutty. Imagine that.

• 1 Tablespoon olive oil
• ¼ of a medium to large onion (red, white or yellow – your choice)
• 3 cups of low-sodium vegetable broth (or chicken broth if you’re not a vegetarian)
• ½ cup water
• 1 cup unsweetened almond milk
• ½ large head of broccoflower (you can substitute with cauliflower), chopped into medium to small florets
• 1 large carrot, chopped
• 1 inch of fresh ginger, finely chopped
• ½ teaspoon curry
• ¼ teaspoon coriander
• ¼ teaspoon cumin
• Sea salt
• Ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat the olive oil in a large pot over high heat, and then add the onions. Sauté for a couple minutes until the onions are transparent.

2. Add the broth, almond milk, water, carrot, broccoflower, ginger, curry, coriander and cumin. Maintaining the high heat, bring to a boil. Then cover the pot, and adjust the heat to a simmer for 10 minutes or until the cauliflower is tender enough to cut with a fork.

3. Using a handheld mixer, purée the soup right in the pot until it is smooth and creamy. (Alternatively, carefully pour the soup into a blender and blend on high.)

4. Add salt and ground black pepper to taste.

I decided to serve my soup in a cup. No spoon required! Clever, yes? No, not really. Our hotel room comes with four bowls and four spoons, all of which are loitering in the dishwasher, dirty. In this case, necessity was not the mother of invention – that honor goes to laziness. If you are not wrestling with laziness like me, serve the soup in a bowl, and sprinkle a little fresh, chopped cilantro or basil on top.

The rich spices and creamy texture of this soup will make you come back for seconds (and maybe thirds). That’s okay! This recipe yields about seven servings and is exceedingly healthy. The cumin and curry contain heart-healthy antioxidants and have been used to treat inflammatory conditions for centuries. Coriander is used to treat many issues like skin inflammation , high cholesterol levels, indigestion and blood sugar disorders, to name just a few. (If you are pregnant, ask your doctor if you can ingest coriander. It’s potent stuff.) Broccoflower, a cross between cauliflower and the chlorophyll of broccoli, is a good source of vitamins A, C, folic acid and antioxidants. So go ahead – go back to that pot for fourths. Your body will love you for it.

I saved the best benefit of this soup for last: This recipe yields a generous amount of soup, which means you likely will have leftovers. If you find yourself at an 8, 9 or 10 on the hanger scale, this HOME(less)MADE CREAM OF BROCCOFLOWER SOUP has your back. Reheating it will take only a minute or two, or you can eat it cold! This soup is so good that you truly can enjoy it at any temperature, making it one of the best supplies in your first-aid kit for the treatment of hanger emergencies.  (As well as other emergencies involving supernatural insects.)

While cleaning my closet, I came across my soap box. It was neglected, dusty and supporting nothing more than the remnants of an abandoned spider web. Feeling oddly sorry for it, I dragged it from its dark corner, stared at it pensively, and then it hit me: I’LL BRING MY SOAP BOX TO MY NEXT HANGRY CHICKS POST!

Right now I’m standing on my soap box, and I’m ready to pose a provocative question about which I feel passionately: ready-made meal replacement shakes. The following question is intended to be respectfully thought-provoking; I assure you it is not a diving board from which I will jump into a pool of self-righteousness.

I have been a consumer of ready-made meal replacement shakes since I was a teenager, lured by Slim Fast’s promise that if I gave them a week, they would take off the weight. When I was in my early 20s, working at Gold’s Gym, I became a MET-Rx brand zealot not because of the marketing; rather, it was the brand of choice for many of the club’s personal trainers who had bodies chiseled from granite. Naturally, my rationale was that MET-Rx must be great stuff if the club’s Adonises were ingesting it. In the decade that followed my stint at Gold’s, I tried many other meal replacement shakes. The list is too long to share without running the risk of losing your attention. Suffice it to say that every time I jumped to a new meal replacement product, there were two reasons I made the switch: brilliant marketing and images of people with beautifully chiseled bodies, attributing part of their physical superiority to the benefits of the product.

In my decades as a ready-made meal-replacement product connoisseur, I can honestly say that I never invited common sense to the decision-making party, held right before I invested in the latest, greatest product. I allowed the marketing and testimonials to easily convince me that I needed [Insert Name Here] Meal Replacement Shake. Then, this year, I started listening to the questions posed by common sense:

1. Don’t you think that it might be healthier for your body to make your own shake from real, natural, fresh ingredients? Why do you think a manufactured powder is better for you?
2. The marketing materials keep telling me that it’s fast and easy to make these shakes, ideal for those with a busy life. What price are you paying for this “fast and easy” benefit? How hard is it to manage your time in such a way that you can allocate an extra 10 minutes to make a healthy shake from scratch, using real food?
3. You already eat very healthy, well balanced meals – you’re not eating fast food or processed products. So why would you replace one of your healthy meals with a processed, engineered powder or liquid?

When I finally listened to these questions that my common sense has been trying to ask me since the 80s, I realized that I don’t need MET-Rx. I don’t need SlimFast. I don’t need Herbalife, Lean Body, Special K or Shakeology. Rather, I needed some recipes for meal replacement shakes that actually use real food, not faux-food powder. The best part of this realization was that recipes for real-food shakes are not only abundant, but many of them are free. Take the following recipe for example: It’s my favorite meal-replacement shake, and the only cost to you is an optional “like” on Facebook!

This recipe was inspired by Dr. Hyman’s Whole Food Protein Shake in his book “The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet” (p. 267). I modified it to give it a bit more sweetness. I highly recommend his book — his recipes will inspire you, too!

The richness and flavor of this shake cannot be understated. Its sweetness is subtle and its texture is thick and nutty, requiring a little chewing while drinking. The nutritional profile (featured below) is so robust that it will satiate you for hours. In the past, I required a mid-morning snack to quell my hanger; but when I started drinking this shake every morning, I did not feel hunger (or hanger) pangs until 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon. The fat content can take most of the credit for this benefit. If you’re alarmed by the amount of fat in this shake, don’t be. I actually lost weight when I started drinking this shake for breakfast, following a diet comprised of 30% fat, 30% protein and 40% plant-based starches and carbohydrates. Unfortunately, we’ve been misled to believe that fat makes us fat. In reality, sugar is the #1 offender in making us fat, followed closely by processed food. High-quality, healthy fat actually has the ability to help us lose weight.

This chart of nutritional information was generated by the AWESOME recipe builder tool on MyFitnessPal.com.

Since I started this post on a provocative note, soliciting common sense to join me on my soap box, I would like common sense to finish this post. Even though I no longer subscribe to the practice of using ready-made meal replacement products, they do serve a useful purpose for many. If the circumstances of your day are such that you have two choices for lunch – no food or a Myoplex shake – then some nourishment is better than none. Similarly, if you are trying to kick a Quarter-Pounder-with-Cheese-and-French-Fries habit, and you’re replacing it with a Shakeology shake, well done! That change is a step in the right direction. Or if your Creamy Dutch Chocolate Isagenix shake serves as your daily allotment of gustatory joy, then I won’t be your designated killjoy. As someone who is constantly learning and growing in the area of health and well-being, I greatly respect anyone who is making an effort to make better nutritional decisions. My Real Foodie Shake just serves as a delicious reminder to invite common sense – instead of marketing – to help make those decisions.