Right now, rate your hanger on a 1-10 scale.
The lowest hanger rating, 1, means your hanger is so manageable that you could outlast the director’s cut of Les Misérables before you’ll need to reach for a snack.
The highest rating, 10, means healthy choices and waiting mean nothing – it’s all about proximity and speed. So if the closest prepared food is deep fried butter (yes, it really exists), you’d eat it. Nay, you’d swallow it whole without one iota of concern about the consequences of this decision.
(Woe unto anyone who encounters a person who is a 10 on the Hanger Scale.)
So, when you take this first and important step in gauging your hanger, you can figure out how much time you have to prepare food – especially if you have the highly scientific graph (below) by your side. For example, let’s say your hanger is an 8 (yikes). That means you have no more than 10 minutes before you start going postal in the absence of food. (Given the current financial state of the U.S. Post Office, that’s pretty scary.) So no matter what, if you are an 8, do not start preparing a meal that takes 30 minutes to make.
Instead, I’d like to recommend trying a surprisingly delicious and incredibly healthy dish that takes no more than 10 minutes to make: The Watermelon, Mango & Spinach Salad.
I know what you’re thinking when you’re an 8 on the Hangry Scale because I’ve been there: “You honestly think a f*cking salad is going to satisfy my hanger? Piss off. You’ve got about as much sense as the entire cast of Jersey Shore.”
Trust me on this one because I ingested this beautiful salad when I was an 8, and it satisfied me to my core. Why? Because the “flavor profile” (I’m stealing this term from the Food Network) is so harmonious that your taste buds will be doing backflips with each bite. And the simplicity of this dish is divine: Simply chop baby spinach, mango, watermelon and a bit of red onion. Drizzle about 1-2 tablespoons of olive oil over the top, squeeze some lemon over it, and add a dash of salt. Mix it well, and serve it with some whole wheat bread.
The sweetness of the mango and watermelon coupled with the contrasting flavor of the red onion and acidity of the lemon is absolutely delightful. And the healthy fat of the olive oil helps calm down the hanger rage relatively quickly. Cautionary note: the price of watermelon is starting to climb since we’re leaving summer behind, so make this dish before a pound of watermelon hits double digits. Bon appétit!